The thought of writing one’s own eulogy can sound downright morbid. But, consider the benefits of it: you have the final word on your own life, you set the tone for your own funeral service, and you relieve your loved ones of having to undertake such an emotional task during their time of grief. Who knows, it may even cause you change some behaviors you have going on today. But whatever the motivation, there remains a question and process you still need to figure out – how to write your own eulogy speech.
Here are some things to consider that will help you write a thoughtful, poignant eulogy for yourself.
How to Write Your Own Eulogy Speech
The first, and most basic, step to take when writing your own eulogy is to decide how you would like to be addressed while the eulogy is being read aloud. Do you want to have it read in the first person, as if you were the one delivering it? Or, would you prefer the person reading it simply state your name? For example, do you want it to be read as “I lived a good life” or “John Smith lived a good life”?
Decide if you would like the eulogy to be somber and read with reverence, or if you would prefer it to be a more uplifting and lighthearted eulogy. This is the decision that will set the tone for the funeral service. For example, if the mourners in attendance know that you wrote your own eulogy, and there is a lot of humor in it, you will have set the stage for your service to be one that is more celebratory than one that focuses on the loss they feel.
When writing out your eulogy make sure to include everything about your life that you want to be remembered, as well as the points that are personally important to you. In fact, this is one of the reasons that some people choose to write their own eulogies -they want to make sure that certain people or events are not left out.
People: Don’t forget to include the names of your family (spouse, children, parents, siblings), as well as the names of any people who were really important in your life (best friends, favorite teachers or coaches).
Milestones: If you choose, add information about your birthplace and date, college graduation, military service dates, marriage date, and career path.
Events: Do you want the eulogy to focus on your triumphs and losses, or family and memories? A combination? How about personal funny memories you share with certain family and friends? This is a wonderful way to show them how much their presence in your life really meant to you after you are gone.
Quotes: Do you have a favorite poem, author or quote? Don’t forget to include this in your eulogy.
Final Statement: Close out the eulogy with a final statement. Make it humorous or one of healing. Either way, keep it positive.
The decision of who you would like to deliver your eulogy should not be made lightly, and the person you decide on should agree in advance to do it. It needs to be someone you are certain can deliver it without a lot of difficulty. After all, you don’t want to place an unnecessary burden on someone who is already grieving. Do you have a friend or family member who is adept at public speaking, or is a performer?
When writing your own eulogy, it is important to focus on the positive. Even if you don’t want it to be lighthearted and humorous, at least make it an inspirational statement of love. After all, your family and friends will be grieving the fact that they lost you. So keep them in mind when composing it. Your personally written eulogy will, of course, represent your final words, but it will also be your final gift to those you love.
Return to the Eulogy Writing Overview