How to Write a Eulogy for Your Mother
When we lose a loved one, it can be emotionally overwhelming, particularly if the person we lose is our own mother. Traditionally, our mothers are our nurturers, and they help guide us through things such as loss. So, if we lose that support in our lives as well, our loss is compounded even further.
If you are given the opportunity to deliver your mother’s eulogy, you know that it is a wonderful chance for you to share just what she meant to you with those she loved, and that can go a long way in helping you begin to heal. However, the idea of delivering a eulogy during such a deeply personal time can also add to the already overwhelming emotions you feel. If you feel that you are capable of writing and delivering her eulogy, you should, because it is a beautiful way to celebrate the life of a woman who meant so much to you.
Gather the Information
Begin the process by gathering all of the facts of your mother’s life. You won’t necessarily use them all, but collect as much information as you can so you can decide which parts are most important. Some key elements you’ll want to have in the eulogy will be the names of those who were most important to her, such as her children, stepchildren, spouse(s), siblings, parents, and best friends.
Don’t forget to include the basics about her life, including where she was born and raised, when she married, where she went to college, military service, where she worked, groups she belonged to, hobbies, special interests, favorite movies, books, and anything else that made your mother unique.
Ask friends and family to share stories and memories of your mother as well. Write them down or record them. You may not use them all, but they will be the foundation for the center of the eulogy. Don’t forget to include your own stories, particularly those stories that reflect the values she held.
If your mother had a favorite book or movie, adding a quote from either would be a nice personal touch as well.
Write it Down and Practice It
You knew your mother better than just about anyone else, but when you are delivering her eulogy you should not rely on your memory to get you through. Emotions and nerves will undoubtedly get in the way and you really want this to be in honor of your mother. So, write an outline, at the very least, and practice it until you are comfortable enough reciting it.
Delivering the Eulogy
Before you begin the eulogy, take a moment to acknowledge those in attendance. It’s not necessary to mention them by name, as some of that will occur throughout the eulogy. Instead, when you acknowledge the mourners and thank them for coming, you are letting them know that you care and are thankful for their support.
Make sure that you have someone nearby who has a copy of your written remarks. Since emotions can get the better of us at the worst time, it’s a good idea to have someone there who can take over if you simply can’t continue.
Take a drink of water and keep tissue nearby if you think you need them, and keep in mind that the people you are standing in front of are there in support. They understand your grief because they, too, are grieving.
Return to the Eulogy Writing Overview
photo by: karindalziel